The Mew Thief Hypothesis
Within Which a new Explanation
of the Presence of Myriad Genetic Lines
Within Mew is Explored
Mew is a pokémon shrouded in mystery and mythology. Purported to be the "ancestor of all pokémon," despite obvious issues with that claim, Mew continues to be a popular pokémon in modern society, particularly amongst the more secular peoples, who treat the pokémon with a reverence normally reserved for deities. It boggles the mind, but habit and tradition will do that to even the best of minds.
This topic is not new to me, as I have often encountered so many of the "Mewists," those scientists who continue to support the Mew Hypothesis of Genesis, in my studies. I find their stubbornness to even look at other hypotheses annoying, and their tendency to push their hypothesis on others with close-to religious fervor unnerving. Most recently, my research into the reality of Egg Groups unearthed a number of Mewists, including some of my close friends who had before not exhibited any form of deference to the hypothesis.
Despite having a number of other projects going on at the time, I found myself endlessly debating the reality of the Mew Hypothesis. In that time, I came to my own conclusions on the issue, and discovered a number of horrifying inconsistencies, so utterly obscene that it would appear that the issues must have been covered up purposefully, rather than simply be the result of ineptitude on the part of the scientists.
The fact that the Mew Hypothesis has survived this long is, in my humble opinion, the result of a number of causes, which I will list here. First and foremost, there is the claim that the Mew genome has been revealed to contain the DNA of every single pokémon. There is also the fact that Mew is able to learn every capability afforded by Technical Machines. A third reason is the fact that Mew can take on the form of every pokémon known. And, finally, there is the embryonic-like form of Mew, often pointed at as a reason for its being the ancestor of all pokémon.
I will begin with the latter arguments, and make my way towards the former.
Mew's embryonic form. This would seem to be a very poor piece of critical analysis, yet it is repeatedly cited in arguments of this nature. The reasoning is that, because Mew resembles an embryo, it obviously is the ancestor of all pokémon, and all life. My first response to this is: What? Why on earth would the form of a pokémon denote its place in the evolutionary line, other than to give clues as to its capabilities? More than that, why would the form of an embryo, the first shape life tends to take, be the proper shape of the mother of all pokémon? I suppose one could argue that form entails function, but that would only point towards the fact that every Mew thus encountered was actually a pokémon waiting to fully develop. Nothing about this argument is satisfactory in any way.
Mew's transformative abilities. I must admit, this reasoning carries some weight. If Mew can transform into all pokémon, the idea that Mew came before all pokémon is not a terribly illogical jump. Just a minor one. We must look at this empirically, mostly due to the fact that most of Mew's capabilities are actually extrapolated rather than observed, since Mew has only been seen on a few occasions.
If Mew can take the form of any pokémon, and then return to its own form, it obviously possesses particularly powerful adaptive agents within itself. The variety amongst pokémon would seem to make this incredibly difficult, so it's presence is formidable. Some might even say deal-breaking.
However, that is jumping the gun incredibly early. For, if we think carefully, another pokémon quickly comes to the forefront as being capable of becoming every other pokémon: notably, Ditto. If Ditto also carries this ability, then it must not be completely unique amongst pokémon. Further, if Ditto can also transform into every pokémon, wouldn't that make Ditto another perfect candidate for ancestor of all pokémon? That alone weakens this argument to pure nonsense.
Mew's DNA contains all other pokemon's DNA. And, at last, we come to the crux of the argument, the true reasoning for Mew's place in our modern society. Genetic studies of Mew have yielded the fact that it contains the DNA of all other pokémon. It is because of this that the Mew Hypothesis first came about, and the major reason it continues to stick around, like an unwanted houseguest two months after the party ended. Yet, it is possibly the most flawed of all the arguments.
Let us deconstruct the argument. Mew contains all DNA of all pokémon, presumably as well as its own DNA (and the DNA of all undiscovered pokémon, such as the kinds we continually discover every year). If it contains all the DNA of all the pokémon, then all the pokémon in the world must have descended from this most mythical beast.
Why would anyone come to that conclusion? Actually, no, let me rephrase. It is perfectly reasonable to accept that a layperson might have come upon that conclusion, or even that a scientist, caught up in the excitement of such a discovery, might at first conclude that Mew was the mother of all pokémon. But, any close examination of genetics reveals this to simply be wrong.
Genetics are complicated, but they follow from a fairly simple idea. A creature exists. It is simple. It breeds and its descendents spread, exposing themselves to new environments, new predators, and new conditions. Only those creatures possessing of traits good enough survive; this means that some environments will simply kill a species off. If the species survives, its offspring inherent the genes that let it survive, while the other genes die off, never to be seen again. As time progresses, the descendents of the original creature may develop in new environments to such an extent that they become separate species, physically, behaviorally, but most importantly, genetically. The new offspring species can be traced back to the original source because they have a common blueprint that was built off of to better fit their changing conditions.
Is the problem evident yet?
If Mew contains the DNA of all pokémon then it cannot be the ancestor of all pokémon. To be the ancestor of all pokémon, every pokémon other than Mew would have a similar set of genes, which Mew also possessed. In fact, this set of genes would be the entirety of Mew's DNA, and would likely be much simpler, if we are to assume that Mew did not evolve and change alongside the other pokémon.
This is a very simple set of facts from the realms of genetics. Mew, by it's very nature of possessing the DNA of all other pokémon, cannot be the ancestor of all pokémon.
And, just to cover all of the points often pointed to, the ability of Mew to take advantage of every Technical Machine (a claim I find rather preposterous based solely on the fact that there are so few cases of a Mew being alive in captivity; how was it tested?) does not save Mew from the reality of its situation. If Mew can take advantage of every Technical Machine, can learn to do everything that all other pokémon can, that simply means that it has a highly mutable genetic structure. And that is only assuming that Technical Machines work by altering the genetic structure of its target (a claim that would seem to be implied by the process of "chain breeding," discussed in my article "On the Origin of Egg Groups")! If Technical Machines work by altering things other than genetics, than that still means that Mew is just easier to alter.
Thus, the Mew Hypothesis is a logical fallacy, a result of not thinking through the facts, and of jumping on the bandwagon of the Mew cult. But, this does not answer the question: what is Mew, if not the ancestor of all pokémon?
My contention is this: the species of pokémon, Mew, is a very unique species, in that it is a genetic thief.
Let me explain.
Ditto works by taking on the form of the pokémon it emulates, down to a genetic level, but it also has slight control over the process. This allows it to breed with whatever it encounters, so long as the original creature is capable of breeding, because it can simply take on the alternate gender of the pokémon. Its genetic structure is not stable, but in fact highly mutable. The offspring pokémon is not genetically unstable, because it is still formed from the base genetics of the non-Ditto parent. The Ditto DNA is, in fact, not present in any way in the offspring.
After any session of emulating another creature, Ditto reverts to its original genetic structure. While I have not studied it in depth yet (I will attempt to rectify this immediately), it would appear that Ditto keeps a base of its own genetics separate from its "phantom" genes, which it sheds when it is done emulating the other pokémon. At that point, Ditto returns to being simply Ditto, incapable of any of its previous forms' capabilities.
Mew is different from Ditto. Very much so. While Mew can take on the form of other pokémon, it does not merely form a phantom set of genes which it later discards, but rather it incorporates the genes of its target into itself. When Mew returns to its original form, it keeps those genes which is finds useful, likely those that provide some tangible benefit, while "de-activating" the other genes, setting them aside so as to not interfere with its natural functions. When the Mew breeds, these "deactivated" genes are simply passed along, from form to form.
One major issue with this model is how all the Mew seem to possess a similar genetic code. But, I contend that there is an obvious reason: Mew is psychic. While all accounts of Mew contain some amount of incredulity and descriptions of amazing feats, all include the fact that Mew exhibits vast psychic powers. If Mew are so psychically gifted, it makes perfect sense that it could broadcast its useful traits to other Mew, who then "update" their genes in the correct form.
My assumption is that this only occurs at specific times, most likely at periods of birth, where the child born is seen to be viable, and therefore a reasonable amount of acceptance is given to allow for the incorporation of new traits. Based simply on logistics, each Mew likely possess only a certain range in which their psychic powers work, so there would be a sort of "updating" process that occurs whenever a Mew comes into range of a new Mew. Mew who incorporate incompatible traits likely die off, which might account for their low population. An interesting possibility of this is how much control individual Mew's possess of their genetic structure. Restructuring could simply be a matter of thought for them.
This hypothesis explains, one, why Mew possess all the DNA of all pokémon, two, why all Mew have a stable genetic code, and, three, why their population stays so low. But, there are still questions.
For one thing, how much about Mew do we really know? For the longest time, they were simply known as the Mirage pokémon, because so few people had actually seen them. In fact, other than tales told by people in their native lands, no one had seen one until soon before the creation of Mewtwo. More than that, knowledge of Mew was not released to the general public until after the escape of Mewtwo. This begs the question: Could Mew, as we know it, actually be a hoax?
Mew had been told in stories for generations. Eventually, scientists sought out their existence. They found a fossil which they retrieved, but no live specimen was recovered. Note, no recording of Mew has occurred on film to date: only testimony of living people, or the journals of the dead. At this time, fossil resurrection technology was not available.
At the same time, scientists were experimenting with biological creations, with things such as Porygon being created. After many experiments, they created a fully-living creature. The creature was vastly psychic, and it eventually escaped, causing massive destruction.
Rather than take the blame of the creation of life, life which then escaped and became a possible liability, the powers that be release a report to a few key people. The creature, which they name post-escape Mewtwo, was actually a genetic experiment to clone the legendary pokémon Mew. Using rudimentary technology, they make a massive genetic profile of every pokémon they had on record, which they then release as the genome of Mew. Mew has never been seen since, so no one has been able to collect more samples. Mewtwo has not been captured, and even if it is in the future, the official report concludes that part of its genetic structure is human, so that is no evidence. Even as more Mew fossils are found, they simply corroborate the cover story, especially because no fossil has been complete enough to resurrect a full Mew. In reality, Mew is an ancient, extinct pokémon, used as a cover to avoid repercussions from genetic engineering run amok.
Now, to be fair, I do not put a huge amount of credence into this idea, but the idea has a certain allure. The conspiracy theory flair makes it seem plausible, and somewhat interesting. Still, it is likely a fantasy, and I include it here only because it is another possibility of the origins of the Mew Hypothesis.
In conclusion, I call for all proper scientists to look carefully at the facts, and to ask the difficult question of, how much of your belief in the Mew Hypothesis is based on fact, and how much on fiction?